28 March 2009

Why Not

It's been a month, so in the interest of remembering the original mission of this blog (narcissism + procrastinability), here are some semi-sequiturs:

I started running a little bit back in December. I don't consider myself a runner. I run on average 0-2 times per week, just on my own, usually somewhere between 2-5 miles per run (my longest so far is 6.3). I average 10-minute miles, but that's an uneven pace. I don't necessarily care to become a more skilled or self-aware runner. I just want to be in moderately better shape, what with my sedentary desk job.

I've noticed over the last couple weeks that I've gained some weight somewhere in the last few months. Not much weight, maybe 5 pounds, but it's definitely fat, and I feel it in both my appetite and my clothes. Trying not to worry about it, but I am slightly more mindful of my calorie intake and energy exertion now in the broadest swaths. Alas, my magical metabolism has evidently started to slow down. It was fun while it lasted.

I'm playing shows on back to back nights next week at The Basement. Looking forward to it, though I imagine I will be quite tired by Friday.

My housemate's major jaw surgery is also next week, so there will be some substantial changes around the house, and I'll try to be as helpful as possible. It's going to be a busy week.

Here's some free music that I think is worth checking out.

On the weightier matters, I'm kinda hanging in there. I think the word for it is that I'm in stasis with a lot of things. Not just church stuff--keeping myself from taking Communion or giving my offering--or on my own with reading scripture or hardly praying, but also not really spending any time on personal writing or much reading or that kind of stuff. Everything's just kinda on hold while I (don't) figure things out. I've kept myself semi-busy with music stuff here and there, but otherwise keep myself as sedated as possible.

There have been thaws and re-freezes, a bit of motion on a couple fronts, but I am still reluctant to let go / forgive myself / believe in God's love for me, etc., and so I'm still angrier than I would like to be. There is going to be a Conversation with a couple folks in a couple weeks, we'll see how that goes.

Anyway, I'm off to pick up a bottle of wine and visit with some friends this evening.

Except there's a tornado siren and a thunder storm off in the not-too-distance.